Things That Surprise Me About Madrid: Volume I

1. No one here speaks english. I guess this shouldn´t be surprising seeing as I am in EUROPE. However, being an American, I assumed everyone should know it. The outcome of my six years spent doodling in the margins of my papers during spanish class resulted in me not picking up that much of the language. I only really know "¡Si Se Puede" (Thanks, Obama) however, seeing as that may result in more trouble than good, I have become very good at nodding my head politley and pointing. I do think that, being immersed in the language, I´ll pick up some of it quickly, like a toddler. I should be fluent in three years. But, I am becomming very good at saying "Uno cafe solo," which brings me to my next point.

2. The coffee. Smallest cups ever. You can barely hold them. However, they contain a caffiene content that puts a Venti Red Eye to shame. They also don't seem to wake me up, just shake violently for a few hours.I have been experimenting with cafes all over the city, where people do spend all of their time, drinking coffee and smoking like characters in Mad Men. They come in and out of the cafes with lighted cigarettes, flicking the ash on the floor (throwing your trash on the floor is apparently a sign that you liked the place...?) and drinking these comically small cups of coffee while yelling across the room at their compadres. Lively bunch.

3.Etiquitte. One is not supposed to yawn in public or eat or drink whilst walking through the streets. This is proving to be a problem for me as I am always tired and hungry and wandering through the streets.

4. The drivers. They will hit you. They will hit you and you will go flying through the blue skys of the city and land in a heap at the foot of the Don Quiote statue. No matter how small the roads are (and some of them are SMALL) they carreen down the streets and through crowded sqaures, only stopping sometimes when the light turns red. Moreover, most of the sidewalks are the same level as the streets, only divided by some dopey metal poles every few yards. When an angry Maderilino gets impaitent on the street, pedestrains beware. They fly down the sidewalks barely dodging barking dogs and angry (but impecably dressed) natives. I wouldnt put it past them to fly through the open doors of the big stores along Gran Via if it was a shortcut.